"Why do people change?", my friend once asked me with all the innocence that she could gather. It's the rule of the nature I told her. Unconvinced, she dodged the topic not wanting to speak of it anymore. Obviously, it was evident, she was affected by that change. Change was hard to accept. Wasn't it?
I have never really had a good set of friends. You could say that I've always been fallacious in choosing the right people to be a part of my life. I still remember I had a friend whose changed behaviour irked me a lot. I was a kind of girl who would be very loving and gentle to even those people who clearly didn't care. So, I went to her, sulked for a little while and when I noticed that she hardly cared, I asked her directly as to what had been the cause of her abnormal behaviour towards me. "It's not me, it's you", she said and walked out on me. For a few days, I wondered if it was really me.
Today when I think of that incident, I get hit by realization, that indeed it was me who had changed. I had taken a stand for myself, to not let anyone take me for granted. This enlightening realization further helped me to decipher that we live in this society with a number of identities. We keep adjusting our attitudes according to the nature of the person who befriends us. This constant switching between identities so as to be a part of someone else's life results in losing the true identity of the self and also in a loss of temper and a strong desire of wanting to change and to not be taken for granted.
Switching from being one person to another within a moment can surely be enervating. So much of a deal to please someone to stay in your life? Is that really worthy of that person?
To answer that we need to throw a few questions at ourselves. Why do we have to take the efforts of pleasing people? Do we fear being isolated? Of course, isolation is the worst kind of a situation that nobody would want to be in. But the question is, is there absolutely no one on the globe who would accept you as who you are and not want you to switch from one identity to another just to be accepted.
No one's born with the same features, same fate and same attitude. The reason behind any kind of behaviour can be justified. And if there is a need to correct the behaviour, it can be done, by a friend who really cares and who can accept you for who you truly are.
In the constant efforts of wanting to be accepted, we often forget the identity we were born with and the purpose for which we were born. The thought of being accepted becomes the only concern for one's life.
I was travelling a few days back. The distance was hardly 200km. Within the 4 hours of my bus journey, I saw so many shades of nature change from place to place. In a generation, where the climate cannot be trusted, to trust a person is indeed a thoughtful task.
I'm not judging anyone when I say that no one's worth being trusted. But then at the end of the day, it's you who shall stay with yourself until your last breath.
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